Saturday, November 16, 2002

Literally FREE Blow Job From Rainbeaux Barbie

If you

1. Bring me dinner that includes beef, veggies and a drink
2. Bring me candy chocolate highly prefered
and
3. Bring some 420

you can get a FREE BJ. First served, first cum.
PERMANENT OFFER NIGHTLY UNTIL I GET A BOYFRIEND
FLOWERS PREFERRED, TOO
Rainbeaux Barbie


(offer good only for white and asian men 45-55 who live in Manhattan and who don't want kids)
The G Rated Ad

Hi! I'm a 32 year old white woman with a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences. I am looking to form a long term relationship with a white or Asian man who lives in Manhattan. I have certain very defined characteristics that I am hoping to find, the so-called "Man of My Dreams".

He's very liberal politically. He plays the guitar and likes Pink Floyd. He likes puppies. He knows how to talk about his faults and failings, and knows how to learn from them. He knows that helping a woman to thrive outside the relationship is the best way to make her love for you last forever.

He must be between 45 and 55 years old. He must live in Manhattan. He must either have kids of his own or not want any kids. He must have time in his life for a permanent part-time relationship with an independent and successful woman. This woman won't take "no" for an answer from a world that often tells her that her dream is unachievable.

Friday, November 15, 2002

Special FREE Sexy Item

You can have your beautiful cock included (with a special sexy award and frame) in the Cock Coloring Book if you find me a place to stay that is convenient to the White House for the month of January.

"The Patriot"
My Ten Point Plan for New York City

by Tracy Blevins, Ph.D.


1. No Pot Arrests
2. 200 FREE Gifts
3. Teachers Fly Free
4. Family Nudist Colony NYC
5. Graffiti the Subway
6. Parks for the People
7. Red Light District
8. FREE Medicine
9. Geezer Disco
and
10. Let’s LIVE at the World Trade Center


The Detailed Explanations

1. No Pot Arrests: I really mean it, and it could happen. Without changing the law, there could be zero marijuana arrests in New York City. Think about it in these terms. The year before Giuliani took office, there were 600 arrests in all five boroughs during the entire year. By the last year in Giuliani’s tenure, there were 60,000 arrests. This represents one hundred fold increase (100X) the number of arrests, and Giuliani certainly didn’t make marijuana 100X more illegal, although he would have if he could have. New York City alone represents between 8-10% of the total marijuana arrests in the whole country. 25% of the City’s courts are supplied day in and day out with criminal court cases for the possession of a medically useful plant. These court cases waste your money and my money, and I’ve had enough of it.

There have been 14, 700, 000 (that’s almost fifteen million) arrests in the United States for marijuana possession since 1965.


2. 200 FREE Gifts to FDNY and NYPD officers for meritorious service during 9-11. More specifically, the FREE gifts will as yet go unspecified, mostly because the law doesn’t allow me to even hint that those free gifts might be blow jobs, although cunnilingus rules apply for interested females, as they always do. One per week for four years, the four years I serve out as Mayor of this fine town. You think that one extra blow job per week is going to be a big deal for me? I’d pick up an extra blow job a week, anyway, even if I wasn’t Mayor, so it’s like, “Big whup.” Plus, I’ve always wanted to make love to a police officer. Problem is, I could never find one I liked. This way, they’d put their names in a pool, double weighted for the firefighters who lost so many, and I’d pick at random in a weekly Lotto ceremony. You’d have to be ready to come down right away, though.

3. Teachers Fly Free: Teachers get one FREE acid trip, because we want our children’s educators to be really cool and well rounded people. Okay, well maybe not. Let’s just double their salary. On another point, we should dramatically cut the police force and double the remaining officer’s salaries, too. Better and smarter cops is what we need, not more of them. A lot of cops would like to be teachers, if it were better pay, and don’t you think that would solve our rowdy classroom problem?

4. Family Nudist Colony NYC: It’s just plain needed here. Any questions? If you’d like a small sample of my face, tits and legs, plus a couple of paintings I did (that actually sold for $500 dollars!), check out my website http://www.rainbeauxbarbie.com

5. Graffiti the Subway: If we let the kids graffiti the subway like they really want to do, they wouldn’t spray paint the buildings as much. Throw away that advertising in the subways and open it up as a FREE space for graffiti artists. The only rule: your shit better be good, or it’s gonna get sprayed over.

6. Parks for the People: Take back all that land along the water front and make it so that people can go down close to the river. Human beings instinctively go to places where there are trees and flowing water. Towards that end, I want to take down all the fences and open up all the gates in the city parks and reverse the current trend toward closing down small parks dotted around the city.

7. Red Light District: Those panty-sniffers who keep complaining about me and booting my posts would be able to go and relieve some of their tension just like that. Any searching around on craigslist would really be about true love, then. Check out a whole bunch of hoaxes and scandals that I caused when I was in London at http://www.hookersforweed.com if you have a couple of minutes.

8. FREE Medicine: I get mad if I talk about this one, so I’ll just leave it at that. Check out my blogspot (with entries back into October) to check out my crazy plan to give away a month of blow jobs to protest this country’s lack of universal health care. http://gangbanglottery.blogspot.com By the way, the FREE blowjob stipulations are still in effect, it being November and me being Blow Job Princess of November and all. At least until I find a real boyfriend, that is. But don’t ask me in person how to get your FREE blow job, or I’ll just tell you to go to the website.

9. Geezer Disco: Well, I’m not sure if many senior citizens would want to go to a disco, but they might, and if we find out that’s the case, we should give them one. We really should listen to older people more often. They are the “institutional memory” of the human race, after all. We shouldn’t just push them out into the margins of our lives.

and

10. Let’s LIVE at the World Trade Center: I can’t think of a better way to defeat terror than to build a living, thriving community at the exact spot where we hurt now. And, never to forget the many poor people who lost their lives and whose livelihoods were affected, low income and middle income housing would be included, integrated into the luxury accommodations, parks, small businesses, performing venues and schools. We’ll show the terrorists where we LIVE!

Notes:

FREE, when it’s spelled in all caps, means something that’s actually not entirely free in the “it doesn’t cost any money” sense of the meaning. It means that, yeah, it costs money, but it also costs something much greater than money to achieve. Stuff like health care. Yeah, it should be free in the sense that everyone should have access to it like they have in other modern countries, but it will never be free in the sense that it doesn’t cost any money. And it costs something much more than money to achieve, especially since we’re already spending this much money for a system that is so broken and unfair.

The funny thing about the return on FREE investments, is that is it also outside the actual bounds of money. For instance, no blow job is worth a hundred bucks. I mean, come on. You could get a blow on the streets of New York for twenty bucks if you really wanted it. Plus, jacking off feels good, too, and people can even go celibate without harm to their health. A hundred blocks is what it costs to get a blow job from me, Tracy, so in that sense, you’re just giving me free money. You don’t even need a blow job, anyway. You just kinda like the way I flirt on the internet, so you drop by sometimes when I give you an invitation. Plus the fact that I don’t sell blow jobs. I really don’t.

Let me explain. For my whole life long, I was a thousand dollar hooker. I would have always had sex with a guy had anybody ever asked me to do it for a thousand dollars, only nobody did. I was too busy in school to want to bother with that, anyway. Guys can be a headache at times, especially, when I’m trying to get work done. School took up too much of my time. I wish I had known how to do this back then, because I certainly would have. A thousand bucks every now and then would have made my life so much cooler. I’d have had to face a lot fewer tough choices had I been specifically aware of the steps needed to sell myself, but I was doing pretty much okay, so I never bothered to learn.

When I finally decided I needed to hook to get by, man, I didn’t have the right fucking clothes, if you can believe it! I was flat broke and panhandling. Of course my long blonde hair was gorgeous and my body was perfect from head to toe, with my smooth white skin, nice tits, delectable hairless pussy, and shapely ass and legs, but nobody could see that on the inside of the rags I had to wear. They could only see my very pretty, but not gorgeous, face.

So I said, fuck it. I’ll go down to three hundred dollars and wait there until I find a trick. And I waited and waited, and waited and waited. AND TRIED, mind you. It wasn’t like I was just hanging around hoping and wishing someone would come along and offer to have sex with me for three hundred dollars. I don’t really want to go into all the embarrassing details, so let’s just put it that I kept getting turned down at strip club after strip club. Brothel after brothel. Nobody would hire me to sell myself or tell me how to do it in a way that I could relate to.

I was supposed to go down to certain bars and pick up Arab guys, according to one friend, but I’d go down there and not see any Arab guys and leave in a panic. I was crap. I couldn’t believe it! You mean, after my whole lifetime of guys coming onto me and trying to get a little sumpin’ sumpin’, I couldn’t figure out how to twist one of these guy’s arms into giving me three hundred bucks?

So in the meantime, I kept creating all these hoaxes and scandals around London, where I was stuck. I tried to deliver a cannabis valentine to Prince Charles, flashed my bum to Buckingham Palace, and even did a bus stop strip on Oxford Street, capturing it all on camera and developing the whole concept of Hookers For Weed. You see, legalizing weed was what I was trying to do with my life, and I figured if I made the comedy show into this, I’d at least get guys asking me if I was a real hooker and why, yes, I am, and then BOOM. Back to America I’d go.

The plan fizzled. Nobody asked that question, or actually, they ALL asked that question, “Are you really a hooker?” and I’d have to answer “No” because I really hadn’t ever hooked. With all the joshing and joking, I could never say, “Yeah, bring it on, buddy. I got your pussy for sale, here!” Even brazen ole’ me was shy at one point, can you believe it? Then I started getting arrested, so I went into EMERGENCY BORROWING PLAN, and borrowed, yes, a thousand dollars from a friend back home. I really meant it when I said I owed him one.

So then I got back to New York and started doing the same kinda crap, only I called it “So High, So Ho”, an “interactive art exhibit” and I told people I was so high all the time and such a ‘ho. And it finally worked. I’m not gonna kid you about this. I was on the streets in my pretty five dollar dress with a sign that said “It’s my birthday and I’ll legalize pot if I want to” (and it was my birthday, May 31), I picked up my first street trick. Yay! I was so happy and nervous at the same time. He was an older guy, and I still like him. I have his number programmed in my cell phone. I will always remember the great guy who gave me that great birthday present of $300 dollars. And his cock was not bad, either. I told him he must have had a lot of fun with his cock throughout his life, and he responded, “Not nearly enough.”

So blah blah blah fuzzy details fuzzy details, I got myself an apartment (shitty though it is) and an internet connection and started up on craigslist, where so many of you were rude just because I was trying to find the right guy for me. You kept bumping my posts and bumping my posts. I joined up saying, “Hi, guys. I want a really rich boyfriend.” And I’d get a naughty note from the craigslist censors saying that it SEEMED like I was exchanging sex for money. Then I tried talking about what I was really like, you know, describing myself. How I wanted to play the guitar better and sing Pink Floyd songs in the park. When guys would respond to this ad, I’d say, “By the way, I want a really rich boyfriend,” and they’d go ballistic on me. Sluuuuut! Whore! La la la, yeah so what? Then my posts about puppie dogs and Pink Floyd would go to the trash can, too. Damn it!

I shrugged and went to the Casuals section, because I certainly wasn’t getting anywhere in the Personals. But the only guys in the Casuals wanted cheap or (mostly) free sex, and they certainly didn’t want to pay three hundred dollars with any regularity, so I came up with a scam to sell blow jobs called the Gang Bang Lottery. I got a bunch of guys in here for the Coloring Book, and they gave their little gift certificates, but I only wanted the guys who would jump through hoops and think it was neat what I was doing, so I made them keep going to the website, keep going to the website before they could come over. This was fun, and I got thirteen cocks in thirteen days, so it was a success.

But November is a long month, and I get bored easy. I decided to take it back to the personals, which is where I really wanted to go in the first place. I want to find a lover, dang it! A lover who will love me for me. I know you’re out there, sweetie, I just don’t know who you are yet. You are the man who wants a permanent part time relationship with a very sexual and intellectual challenge, a good cook and a puppie lover, performance artist scientist politician, whatever I am in your eyes. You love me. Now you just have to convince me of it.

To my sweet love that I haven’t met. (I can’t wait!)

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

I Forgot To Tell You About My Pussy

Remarkably pretty. I have a very smooth, naturally lightly haired mons pubis and lightly colored, petite pussy lips. I've got a clean looking and tight asshole (haven't done much butt fucking and NONE for sale), and would consider exploring anal sex with a gentle partner I trusted. All these guys keep telling me I'd like it, so I figure what the hey.
My real stats.

If you want a lover like me, you better do your research. I'm tough to handle, and I require a lot, but I give back more than ten times over, if you'll let me.

Tracy Lynn Blevins
d.o.b. May 31, 1970

Ph.D. in Pharmacology from the University of Texas Houston Medical School
B.A. in Biology from Washington University in Saint Louis

Performing artist. Shows include “Naked Sex (a radio call-in show)”, "The Medical Marijuana Traveling Circus Sideshow", "Medical Marijuana Barbie", "The ALL Nude Medical Marijuana Party", "HookersForWeed", "BarbieForMayor", "FREEMedicine", and "vastmajority".

http://gangbanglottery.blogspot.com
http://www.rainbeauxbarbie.com
http://www.hookersforweed.com

If these concepts are offensive to you, I need you to kindly refrain from replying to my ads. My art is so important to me that I live and die by it. The extent to which you separate me from my work is the extent to which you alienate yourself from who I am as a person. I'm an advocate. I'm a patients' rights advocate. It's not a job. It's a calling.

I'm just trying to get by and hang on. I'm not looking for Donald Trump. I'm looking for a man who doesn't think I'm a hooker for needing a lover AND 2 thousand dollars a week to have a perfect life. So many things are set for me right now, but I don't have lover that I can depend on. And as long as I don't have that lover, I'm going to have to keep being a professional floozy, both because I don't have any regular income right now and because I'm at least meeting potential partners, although when my rates are so cheap, I can't find what I'm looking for. I get guys who have some extra cash and are willing to throw it away on nooky with a hot chick.

Whatever. Been there, done that. BOR-ing. Most men are boring to me.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

A Change of Heart

Somebody out there loves me.

I'll cancel the Gang Bang and stop giving out FREE Blow Jobs, if you'll be my boyfriend.

I still want to do the January Project.

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Blow Jobs For Charity

Yes, I'm giving blow jobs for charity. Read the whole blog to find out how to participate. Before you call me, please be able to answer the following questions: During what month can I get a FREE Blow Job? What do I have to do to get the Blow Job? What's going on in December? What about the Cock Coloring Book? Where am I going to be in January, and doing what? If you are patient enough to find out the answers, and if you want to help out with a real charity, call me.

Bonus Question: How did I get the idea of having a Gang Bang Lottery? (hint...Cannabis Raffle)

Sunday, November 03, 2002

It's Good To State One's Goals Clearly

Health insurance for this young man and his family. Simple. They've got it in the Netherlands, the UK, Germany, Switzerland, France, etc. But, because he was born in America, he has to go without attention for twenty-two (22) hours each day? The young man needs permanent health care, and he needs to obtain this before he has a chance for an independent life. Right now, he's a burden on his mother, and in Februrary, who knows what will happen? Death in a nursing home for a very bright young man with a future could be the result. Now, I'm sorry if that's a downer to everyone's hard-ons, don't be sad. Lifetime health insurance for this man's family is doable. Things could change for the better. Not to mention the fact that I don't have anything better to do with my time.

Saturday, November 02, 2002

Some Clarifications

Blow Job Princess of November
December 11, 2002: The Gang Bang Lottery
The January Project

and NEW ITEM!

February Blow Job-A-Rama (a.k.a. Chupa Mi Velga Fest) in glamorous, tropical Mejico! details pending...

That was the outline. Here are the details:

Blow Job Princess of November seems self explanatory to me, but there are a few hurdles you have to jump through in order to get your FREE Blow Job. Were it that something were really free in life. (Although my availability could be considered a Free Gift to sexy New Yorkers, sex can never be entirely free.) Guys treat me great when they pay for sex. They value me and respect me so much more when they pay me a lot of money than when they don't pay me at all, or when they try and get me for cheap. Cheap sex is exactly that, and I'm done with that from here on out. From now on, my pussy is not for sale at any price. And blow jobs are no longer for sale, either, but I'm still available for blow jobs because, well, why the hell not?
Again, though, for several reasons, I'm unwilling to accept money for blowjobs, although I will accept favors. Several people have helped me around the house, and I was glad to give them a FREE Blow Job. Handing out flyers was at one point in time a FREE Blow Job offer. The Mini Gang Bang is FREE and BLOW JOBS ONLY is reserved for the first six gentlemen of craigslist who respond to my email after I come home from being on the Howard Stern Show.
During November, I am taking pictures of the cocks of all the craigslist guys who want to participate in the Gang Bang Lottery, memorializing them in The Cock Coloring Book, and choosing the best six (plus two alternates and a camera man) for the Gang Bang on December 11, 2002.


The Gang Bang
Six of the hardest and best tasting cocks will be selected from the Lottery Pool (cock-tastings and Gift Certificate Blow Jobs), and we will have a night of sexy fun on December 11, 2002. On December 1, emails will be sent to the 8 lucky gentlemen who will then respond with their fantasy of what a gang bang should be like in their eyes. I will combine them all together into a script using anonymous names and send the individualized scripts back to the winning gentlemen for a final ok. NOTE to Gang Bang Lottery Pool: Work on your sexy scenarios and scenes in between now and the Lottery Selection Period, and send them to me when they are done. Work them over well, give it your best shot with good punctation and all ten individuals involved (me, 6 winning gentlemen, 2 alternates, and a camera man), and a few winning scenarios will be selected for publication in The Cock Coloring Book, not to mention giving me good ideas for the Gang Bang. The winners (all 8, including the alternates who play only passive roles) will have to pay for the luxury hotel suite in downtown Manhattan, and if anyone has any good ideas about which hotel, send them to me along with your 9 on 1 Gang Bang Fantasies.

The January Project
A young handicapped man lives in Alabama with his mother. He will lose his insurance coverage in February 2003, although it means his life will be at daily risk. I'm going to set up a portable office each sunny day across the street from the White House (1600 1/2 Pennsylvania Avenue) during the month of January and lobby for an extension of his health insurance. I will be pushing around my office in a cabinet on top of a dolly with a weatherproof tarp that has a picture of the young man's face on it all around the town of Washington, D.C. All of the profits (this means 100%) of the January Project go to the young man in his family, hoping that they can stay in Alabama and that he can continue the process of creating an independent and successful life for himself. I hope you meet him one day! I hope I meet him one day!

February Blow Job-A-Rama (a.k.a. Chupa Mi Velga Fest) details pending...
The Cock Coloring Book

You guys just keep on coming over for the cock tastings and the free blow jobs. I’m taking a picture of each of your cocks with a number next to it in order to help remember them when I am choosing my lovers out of the Lottery Pool for the Gang Bang.

And the New Added Feature: The Cock Coloring Book

Yes, I’ve decided to go all out and memorialize my sexy reign as Blow Job Princess of November in a loving, touching and exquisitely detailed drawing of each of your cocks in black and white, published in the form of a coloring book. The opening poem will be my smash hit, “The Cock That Reminded Me Of Love” and there will be rewards given to each and every cock. Mr. Congeniality goes to the hardest cock of any size, for instance. Senor Grande goes to the very thickest cock around, and The Rose goes to the cock with the sweetest and lightest tasting cum.

And, while I’m on the subject of cock, can I ask a favor of two gentlemen from craigslist who visited me before? Right now, in my heart, you are both in the running for the Gang Bang, but you have to come and visit me again in November, at least for a quick cock-tasting so I can take the picture of your cock and enter you in the Gang Bang Lottery. The first gentleman, who I said was beautiful. Please come and see me again. I hope you’ve thrown away those baggy clothes and started showing off your beautiful slender body to the pretty girls in your neighborhood. (P.S. I hope you are at least 18!)

And the other one. Mmmm, your cock tasted divine! Your face and smile were so pretty, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And when you took your clothes off and showed me your nice chest and abs with a light covering of dark hair, lean, but defined legs and yummy ass, I decided to let you stay for an extra long time. You fucked my mouth with your medium sized cock while I masturbated myself in the mirror for you. We both came together, and I want you back!

I wish I could remember your names. (It sounds pretty bad, I know.) But you know who you are. And the rest of the craigslist gang feel free to call after you have done all the required reading. Wouldn’t you like to have your erect cock memorialized and categorized next to a bunch of different cocks? Only you are the one who knows which number you are! See you soon.